Congratulations, citizen! 🎊 Chances are your government has been practicing fascism for quite some time, but a recent *checks notes* "democratic transition" has made them feel comfortable enough to drop the mask entirely. Think of it as fascism coming out of the closet – they're proud of who they are now!
There will be continuation of the same old privacy invasions you've grown to know and love, plus plenty of exciting new features making their way into the limelight that you definitely did nazi coming. (See what we did there? Subtle, right?)
📈 Fun Fact: ICE's 2025 Shopping Spree!
ICE got a $205 million budget increase for 2025-2026 because apparently $822.7 million wasn't quite enough to properly terrorize immigrant communities. That's enough money to fund 41,500 detention beds – because nothing says "land of the free" like industrial-scale human caging! 🏭
Pro tip: They're calling it "Transportation and Removal Operations" now. Much more corporate-friendly than "ethnic cleansing," don't you think?
🔮 BREAKING: Palantir's "ImmigrationOS" - Now Available!
> SYSTEM BOOT: Surveillance_State_v3.0 [OK]
> Loading ImmigrationOS...
> Initializing $30 million facial recognition matrix...
> Connecting to NSA backdoors... [ESTABLISHED]
> Ready to track humans like packages! 📦
Yes, that's right! Palantir Technologies (named after the all-seeing eye from Lord of the Rings, because subtlety is dead) just scored a cool $30 million contract to build "ImmigrationOS" – because why have immigration officers when you can have algorithms decide who gets to stay human?
The 1798 Alien Enemies Act is BACK, baby! 🕰️ Nothing says "modern democracy" like dusting off a 227-year-old law from when people thought diseases were caused by "bad air." Trump already used it in March 2025 to deport 200+ people to El Salvador without trial, because due process is so last century.
🛡️ Survival Guide: Making Life Harder for the Secret Police
(Because if you're going to live in a surveillance state, you might as well make them work for it!)
Now that you've identified the ✨totally surprising✨ problem with your government, let's talk about some simple things you can do to slow the spread of fascism and protect yourself and your community. We'll focus on information security, because if your government has god-like access to every piece of information about you and everyone else in your country, then you have about as much chance of stopping them as a snowball has in a climate-changed hell.
The first step is to stop using the tools that they use to spy on you, and start using tools that protect your privacy. Of course, the truth is that you should have been doing this all along, but better late than never! And perhaps now that you've seen exactly why it's so important, you'll never again allow yourself to slip back into the cozy embrace of digital complacency.
Let's get started making things harder for the secret police: (They prefer "Immigration and Customs Enforcement" now, but we all know what they really are)
- 🔐 Use Encrypted Communication Switch to messaging apps that offer end-to-end encryption, such as Signal or WhatsApp. This ensures that your conversations remain private and secure from government surveillance. Well, mostly secure. They'll still collect your metadata like Pokemon cards, but hey, baby steps! Please note that governments and corporations still collect an enormous amount of sensitive data without ever capturing the actual content of your messages - just the 'metadata' (you know, only everything else about your life). Using other strategies listed here will mitigate this to varying degrees.
- 🧅 Use Tor The Tor network anonymizes your internet traffic by routing it through multiple servers, making it difficult to trace your online activities. Use the Tor Browser for enhanced privacy while browsing the web. Fun fact: Tor was originally funded by the U.S. Navy, so it's government-funded privacy protection against the government. Meta much? Notably, Tor is not a silver bullet, and it can be compromised by governments and other actors. It's best used in conjunction with other tools and strategies. It also works by encrypting and mixing your traffic with lots of other traffic, so it's necessary for many people to use Tor for all sorts of purposes for it to work well. You can therefore support Tor users by using it for some of your regular activities - as a bonus it will keep those activities more private and secure.
- 🤐 Limit Shared Information Be cautious about the personal information you share online. Review your social media privacy settings and limit the data you share publicly. Remember: Mark Zuckerberg's motto used to be "They trust me — dumb f*cks." Consider yourself warned. Remember that even seemingly innocuous information can be used against you, and that governments and corporations are always looking to collect as much data as possible - even if they have to buy it from data brokers like sketchy Pokemon card dealers. It's notable that this is commonplace in the U.S., where the government routinely buys data from companies rather than collecting it themselves, because technically that bypasses those pesky constitutional protections.
- 🔒 Use a VPN A Virtual Private Network (VPN) encrypts your internet connection and masks your IP address, making it harder for anyone to track your online activities. Choose a reputable VPN provider that doesn't log your data. Pro tip: If the VPN is free, YOU are the product! Be aware that some governments have been known to block or restrict VPN use, so you may need to find one that isn't blocked in your country. Also use one from a different country than your own - preferably one that hasn't completely sold out to surveillance capitalism yet (good luck finding one!).
- 📚 Educate Yourself and Others Stay informed about the latest privacy threats and security practices. Share this knowledge with friends and family to help them protect themselves as well. Because nothing says "fun dinner conversation" like explaining how the government is tracking their toilet paper purchases! The more people who are aware of these issues, the harder it will be for governments to infringe on our rights. Remember that much of your information security is only as strong as the weakest link, so it's important to help others protect themselves as well.
- 🔑 Use Strong Passwords Create complex passwords for your online accounts and change them regularly. Consider using a password manager to help you generate and store strong passwords securely. And no, "Password123!" doesn't count as complex, Karen. Avoid reusing passwords across different accounts, as this can make it easier for attackers to gain access to multiple accounts if one is compromised.
- 🎣 Be Wary of Phishing Attacks Be cautious of emails or messages that ask for personal information or direct you to suspicious websites. Always verify the source before clicking on links or providing sensitive information. If it sounds too good to be true (like "You've won the Nigerian lottery!"), it probably is! Phishing attacks are a common way for governments and other actors to gain access to your information, so it's important to be vigilant and skeptical of any unsolicited requests for information.
- 💻 Use Secure Devices Ensure that your devices are secure by keeping your operating system and software up to date. Use antivirus software and enable firewalls to protect against malware and unauthorized access. Windows Defender counts, but barely. It's like bringing a squirt gun to a nuclear war. Be cautious about the apps you install, as some may have hidden tracking features or vulnerabilities that can be exploited.
- 🦆 Support Privacy-Respecting Services Choose services and platforms that prioritize user privacy and don't engage in mass surveillance. This includes search engines like DuckDuckGo, which don't track your searches, and email providers that offer end-to-end encryption. Basically, the opposite of Google, which knows more about you than your therapist. By supporting these services, you help create market demand for privacy-respecting alternatives.
- 📢 Advocate for Privacy Rights Get involved in advocacy groups that promote digital privacy and civil liberties. Support legislation that protects user data and holds governments accountable for surveillance practices. Good luck with that last part - accountability is apparently a foreign concept in Washington D.C. The more people who advocate for privacy rights, the more pressure there will be on governments to respect those rights.
Next Steps in Digital Resistance
Understanding fascist surveillance is just the beginning. Protect yourself with practical guides:
How Digital Deportation Works ICE's $5.4B Surveillance Budget Palantir's Surveillance Empire Protect Your PrivacyRelated Reading
🎯 The Bottom Line
By taking these steps, you can help protect yourself and your community from the encroachment of fascism and government surveillance. Remember that privacy is a fundamental right, and it's up to all of us to defend it. Even if some people think privacy is just for criminals and people with something to hide. (Spoiler: everyone has something to hide, even if it's just their weird obsession with cat videos.)
Stay vigilant, stay informed, and take action to safeguard your digital freedom. Together, we can work towards a more secure and private digital future for everyone.
Remember: In 2025, with over 600 deportation flights, the 1798 Alien Enemies Act being dusted off, and Palantir building an "ImmigrationOS" surveillance system, the time for complacency has passed.
The panopticon isn't coming - it's here, and it's got a government contract.